So how many articles and emails have you seen about New Year Resolutions? The media is full of interviews and TV shows about letting go of weight, changing habits and in general, suggestions on how you can achieve your goal of become a new you.
I have a different take on all this.
Firstly I don’t believe we humans work well with personal revolution – instant change.
I believe we work best with evolution – slow, progressive change.
I also believe that change is not just about us, but about the people around us. And they
can make a huge difference in the process of our ability to change.
If we look at the arc of change… we are moving from guilt (generally speaking) into fear or uncertainty. What do I mean by that? Well, we wouldn’t be wanting to change something if we were satisfied with the way we are. And if it’s a debilitating habit like procrastination, or always being late for appointments, or smoking, or wanting to exercise and somehow never finding the time – there’s a sense of guilt or ‘should and haven’t’ around it. Then because we’re moving into the unknown of ‘what if?” when we make changes, there’s a certain amount of fear or uncertainty about the ‘new you’. Also the people around you may resist or resent that change. “I think you’re fine just the way you are – why do you have to starve yourself to look different?” This from a mother to one of the clinic clients who wanted to let go of some weight.