connecting with kids

Connecting With Kids
Through Their Core Interactive Styles

By Dr. Caron Goode, NCC

Coaching is relationship building. You can’t help or communicate appropriately if you don’t have any real understanding of what a person is like, what motivates him, what’s holding him back, what’s prevented him from being all he can be.
Dick Vermeil, NFL Head Coach


Have you ever felt that you and your child speak different languages when it comes to tackling tasks?  Do you feel your children don’t hear you? When they cry or misbehave, do you understand what dynamic simmers below the surface behavior? If you chalk up your miscommunications to an underlying personality conflicts, then you are on to a powerful parenting secret… creating interactions that spark connection.

If we are not connecting emotionally with children, we are not being heard, felt or respected. Point is… neither are the children. The reason for the disconnect is we’re all born with a natural predisposition to interact with people and do tasks in a certain way, and it’s this unique constellation of how we do what we do that is our own interactive style. Knowing and responding to a child’s core style will repair the disconnections and provide an environment for success.

For example, Sandy is a super organized mom who breaks for the container store, and her son Josh, a laid-back daydreamer who easily is consumed by his thoughts, which often take him off task. While Sandy waits at the door, briefcase and coffee in hands, Josh is wandering about in the living room, looking for a Game Boy he just can’t find. He still hasn’t eaten his breakfast! Sandy can’t stand to be late and grows increasingly frustrated each morning that Josh isn’t moving fast enough. Sure enough, she starts screaming, “Why can’t you get it together? Why do you always do this?”


Dynamic Living Magazine Issue Vol. 2  March/April 2011 continued on next page

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